Asuka Needs A Babysitter
by asianporchmonkey
Summary: Alzack and Bisca Connell are broke. They're in desperate need of money. That's why they took on a 50M jewel mission somewhere faraway that I won't mention because it's unimportant to the story. But they can't take Asuka with them, of course. So who'll take care of her? Fortunately (or unfortunately) for them, a certain destructive guild volunteers.
1. Lucy

A/N: This idea has been floating around my head for... a year now? xD I'm just such a _big_ lazy ass. So yeah. Nothing serious, I probably won't be updating this regularly because reason above uhuh yeahp ^^; And yes, each chapter'll be roughly this length. Like I said, it's nothing serious. More like a drabble series. Hope you like! Reviews are greatly appreciated :3

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing other than the plot.

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"What do you want to do today, Asuka-chan?" Lucy glanced at the tiny figure clutching at her skirt, "Natsu and Happy won't be responsible for you until tomorrow, although who knows why your parents thought it'd be a good idea to let those idiots take care of you while they're off on their mission."

The seven year old giggled, "Natsu-nii-chan's really funny."

The celestial mage grinned in quiet agreement, " So, anything in particular you want to do?"

"Ooh, the Travelling Magic Carnival's in town, right?" Asuka skipped happily to Lucy's apartment door. "Let's take a look, Lucy-nee-chan!"

"That's a good idea. I've been meaning to check it out, too. Let's go after lunch!" she inserted her key into the ancient looking lock and pushed the creaky door open.

"We'll have beef steak and mash potatoes. I also have some leftover-" she never got to list whatever leftover she had as a blue furry _thing_ launched itself out of her living room and onto her face, almost suffocating her.

"Mmf! Mmmm-fff!" she gasped and pulled the unidentified object from her face. Coughing and trying to clear her head, she glanced down and saw what -or who- it was, "Happy!"

"Lucy," the winged Exceed whined, "Your face is so pointy. I think I bruised my chest or something."

"You damn cat! You're the one who attacked me! Wait... what are you even doing here?"

"It wasn't me," Happy flew back into the room, "Natsu threw me as you opened the door."

He landed lazily on a pink haired, grinning boy's shoulder, "Yo, Lucy!"

"What the hell are you doing here? This is breaking and entering!" she shut the door behind her.

Natsu crouched down to pat Asuka's head, who giggled back, "You're first in line to take care of Asuka so we came by to help you! The kid might get bored or something."

"She will _so not_ get bored!"

"Hey, Lucy." a handsome teen with a scar on his forehead hopped down from the windowsill, "Brought you and Asuka some ice cream."

"Gray! Why are you here? W-wait, we can't eat ice cream. It's the middle of winter!"

"So? I eat ice cream all year around. Don't you?"

"We're normal people, unlike you, Gray." a velvety voice spoke from the chair by the fireplace.

"Erza-san!" Lucy spun around, astonished.

"Hello, Lucy." the redhead replied, taking a book from the shelf beside her, "How are you?"

"Neh, Lucy. Don't you have any booze around?" a brunette smelling strongly of sake interrupted from inside the fridge.

"Cana!"

"Honestly, Cana. Can't you be more refined than that?" a white Exceed retorted from the bedroom door.

"_Charle?!_"

"Pardon the intrusion, Lucy-san." a soft voice said. "We brought some strawberry shortcake for Asuka."

"What! _Wendy?!_"

"Cake? I would love to have some!" Erza loomed over the blue haired dragonslayer, eyes glinting slightly.

"Where did all of you come from?!" Lucy cried, overwhelmed by the amount of people in her apartment. Her wails went unnoticed, though.

"You're so stupid, icebrain." Natsu scoffed, "Ice cream sucks. Everyone knows a good bonfire is the best meal."

"Your taste in food is the weirdest, flame breath." Gray laughed meanly.

"Watch'a say, pervert-stripper?!"

"Come at me, you barbaric dumbass!"

"_**Enough**_!" Erza scolded. Lucy let loose a sigh of relief. Erza will be able to calm everyone down. A fight between Natsu and Gray is something she definitely did not want occurring in her tiny home.

The S class mage, however, grabbed the cake box from Wendy's tiny hands, "We're eating _this_!"

"Yay, cake for lunch!" Asuka squealed, bouncing up and down.

Lucy collapsed on the couch and helplessly watched the chaos unfold before her, already feeling very exhausted.

"We are _so not_ going to the Carnival today."


	2. Natsu and Happy

A/N: Welp, can't believe I actually have this up so soon xD I'm procrastinating on an essay lol. Anyway, I hope you like this! Reviews are greatly appreciated.

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing other than the plot.

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"Holy crap, it's freezing!" Natsu shivered as a particularly strong gust of wind blew around him. He pulled his scarf tighter around his neck and used his hot breath to warm his hands.

"I told you to wear a sweater today!" Happy scolded from above the fire dragon slayer's head, "It's been really cold the lately, dropping at temperatures even lower than that of Mt. Hakobe's!"

"Yeah, yeah." the pink haired mage grumbled and buried himself deeper into his scarf.

Asuka giggled and unwrapped hers from her neck, "Do you want to borrow mine, Natsu-nii-chan?"

He shook his head and stood up straighter, "Nah, I can handle it!" he grinned with a nonchalant wave of his hand.

"Where are we going anyway, Natsu-nii?" the tiny girl asked as she adjusted the straps of her blue backpack.

Natsu's smile widened, "I found a really easy mission yesterday on the board. They're giving us five thousand jewels for it! What a steal!"

He noticed that her steps faltered slightly at the mention of a 'mission'.

"Don't worry, we're just helping the owner clean his shop," he reassured her.

"Natsu, heads up!"

"Huh?"

_WHAM_! A perfectly formed snowball hit him right on his face.

"Bull's-eye!" Happy nearly dropped to the ground laughing.

"Why you-!" Natsu spluttered, rubbing the cold from his face.

"You should have seen your face! It was-oof!" a snowball hit the blue Exceed in the stomach. He fell into a pile of snow with a muffled thud.

"Haha!" the dragon slayer sniggered.

"He got you back good!"Asuka giggled.

"Asuka, think fast!"

She shrieked, receiving a face full of snow. Dropping her bag, she ran after the two who were already pelting each other with a barrage of snowballs.

xxx

"Honestly, guys. It's annoying enough that you call me here on my cleaning day, _especially_ after that gigantic mess you left from yesterday, but to play in the snow without a coat until you get sick?" Lucy massaged the bridge of her nose, exasperated.

"You're supposed to be the babysitters. Why is _she_ the one making you food and taking care of you?"

She motioned towards Asuka, who was preparing bowls of oatmeal and looking even tinier than ever in an oversized apron.

Lucy glared at Natsu and Happy, who were bundled up in bed with steaming mugs of hot chocolate, "_Well_?"

They giggled nervously, "Uh...oops?"


	3. Gray and Juvia

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fairy Tail. Sadly.

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A snowflake slowly floated down and landed on Asuka, who giggled and rubbed at her cold nose. A few more drifted around her from Gray's palm. The duo was sprawled on the lunch tables at the guild. Mages were scattered here and there, mumbling amongst themselves and emitting a soft, pleasant buzz. It was a very lazy and peaceful afternoon at Fairy Tail.

"Thanks for taking care of me, Gray-nii-san. I know that you weren't supposed to have me 'til next week." Asuka grinned up to the ice mage.

Gray pinked slightly and grumbled, "Natsu's just being a big stupid head again with that fever of his."

"I have nothing planned for today, though." he apologized after a little while.

Asuka shook her head, "I like it like this. It's nice to have a quiet afternoon sometimes."

"Hmm..." he replied sleepily.

Suddenly, the relaxed atmosphere was shattered by shrieks from the other end of the hall, "Gray-sama!"

"Spoke too soon, Asuka." the half naked teen said under his breath and sat up straighter.

"Gray-sama! Juvia came as fast as I could as soon as Juvia heard that Natsu-san turned Asuka over to you earlier than planned!" a blue haired mage sat beside Gray, "Juvia has brought everything we will need to take care of her: colouring books, tickets to the grand ball, candy-"

"Whoa, whoa! Relax, Juvia. We've got everything under control. We're just gonna have a quiet afternoon."

"Ah!" Juvia sighed, "Gray-sama is so well-prepared and considerate! Our daughter is so fortunate to have you as a father!"

"I didn't really do mu- what, father?!" Gray's eyes bulged slightly as he stared at the love stricken mage, "I'm not a father to anyone. What the hell are you talking about, Juvia?"

"Asuka-chan, of course." Juvia replied simply, "We are a happy family, Gray-sama. She is our daughter, you are the father, and Juvia is the mother!"

"No! What! We're not even married!"

"Of course we are! We have the papers and everything!" she placed a thick pile of papers in front of him with a dull thud. On the cover were the words, "Gray and Juvia Fullbuster's Marriage Contract: Signed".

"_Where the hell did this come from_."

"Oho! Congratulations, you two!" Macao guffawed as he passed by, spying the papers.

"Congratulations for what, Macao?" Mirajane curiously asked.

"Gray and Juvia got married!"

"Oh, I see. Congratulations." she smiled.

"_WE DID NOT_." Gray practically screamed.

"Of course we're married, Gray-sama!" Juvia snuggled up to him.

"No-!"

"Juvia-chan married _you_?!" a white haired teen suddenly barged in the guild hall, seething.

"Lyon!"

"I object! I will fight you!"

"_WE'RE NOT MARRIED_!"

"Yes, we are, Gray-sama!" Juvia pouted, "Cana-san arranged everything. She said, as soon as you are responsible of Asuka-chan, we are officially married!"

Gray gawked at her, speechless. "Cana... said that?"

Juvia smiled and nodded.

"**_CANA!_**"

The brown haired mage smirked as she took a swig from her beer, "Prank success. Hi-five, kiddo."

Asuka giggled back and returned the hi-five with a resounding clap, "Success!"

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A/N: *snorts* I love it when Cana teases Gray. Is it just a headcanon of mine or has Cana teased Gray a lot? /muddles up all plot lines/ Anyway, hope you liked it! PS: I'm putting A/Ns at the end now, ehe xD Oh, if you have prompts or ideas, throw 'em at me ^^ Reviews are greatly appreciated.


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